So the Coal Cracker Classic is in 11 days.
I don't have a bicycle.
I could get a bicycle.
When Tom is at work I steal his new bicycle and ride it around the neighborhood. (imissridingsinglespeed).
When I'm on that bike, I know I can do it. I can compete in this race.
When I realize how close the race is and how ill-equipped I am, that's when I doubt myself.
I don't question my athletic ability, it's more so if I can get over my social anxieties of being in a large crowds.
When I made my declaration to do this race I didn't know what was ahead of me.
While a lot has happened, I still want to race. I just wish I had a bike that I could've been riding all summer.
We'll see. If I end up not participating, I will be the most disappointed.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Getting Back On
There's an unwritten rule in the blogging world that it's not ok to reveal everything that goes on in your personal life. You want to intrigue your readers without sharing every detail of life's drama. I recently read an account from another blogger that summed it up perfectly. On one hand you have a blogger who basically shared their complete mid-life meltdown online and it cost them a lot of their readers. On the other hand you have the blogger that hides behind that computer screen telling themselves that everything is perfect because they say it is. Well dear friends, I don't want to be that person who tries to be squeaky shiny clean on the outside while I'm falling apart on the inside. I will admit a lot has gone on in my life lately, but if anything I think I had to go on a rough and strenuous journey to return to what I will find to be a rewarding and just path. Here goes.
Ive been in Allentown now for a month. I've been working successfully - loving my job and coworkers. I've been seeing friends here and there. My only downside is a lack of housing. There is no place here to call my own. I have been staying at friends' places, to which I am very appreciative. However something has been calling me back to State College and that something could be a number of things.
Tom.
I left with the idea that this relationship was over. There was never really anything wrong with us, but to me it wasn't quite right. All this boy ever did was try to please me, and I turned down every attempt because I already had made up my mind that it wasn't good enough. Since leaving State College we ended up talking more than when we actually lived together. I took some time out for myself to really figure out what I wanted, and it only led me back to him. Cliche I know, but you don't know what you have til you don't have it anymore. I know a lot of people don't believe in second chances, but I'm going into this again with an open mind and a better attitude. A relationship takes some work, and it's my own fault for not realizing what was right in front of me. I'm very excited to see him and give this relationship a go again. Tom's the greatest, most supportive guy I've ever been with, and that's a good thing.
Pets.
Working at a pet store, while my pets are 175 miles away isn't very comforting. I miss them every day. I've been staying at friends' houses that have critters, but they're not my babies and so sometimes it makes it worse.
Home.
You know when you go away on a vacation and even though you could be having the time of your life, there still is no greater feeling than coming home and getting to sleep in your own bed? That's how I feel. I'm missing a level of comfort. I miss my kitchen. I've been eating fast food for the past twoish weeks. It's disgusting. I just want to make lemon bars and homemade salsa
Bicycles.
I thought in coming to Allentown that I may have a chance to ride around a little. I have yet to acquire a bicycle but I've been able to ride Meghan's bike around a bit. IT SUCKS. Riding is fun, but boy do I miss my bike. I miss suspension and grip shifts make me sad. The Coal Cracker Classic is a month away and I'm hoping that in my return to State College I can get a bike and ride again. I also miss my Jane ladies like crazy, so it'll feel good to be a part of the bike world again.
A Second Chance.
I have to admit that maybe I wasn't quite ready to leave Allentown the first time I left. When we moved to State College I still had so many attachments. I've spent the last month and a good part of the summer catching up with friends, seeing old sights, and most importantly I've learned what I want right now out of my life as far as jobs and relationships go. It's about who I want to be, and I think now that I'm ready. I can begin. I'm leaving on Wednesday, and I can't wait to start again - maybe try things differently. I may have fallen a couple times, but I think I'm ready to get back on.
Ive been in Allentown now for a month. I've been working successfully - loving my job and coworkers. I've been seeing friends here and there. My only downside is a lack of housing. There is no place here to call my own. I have been staying at friends' places, to which I am very appreciative. However something has been calling me back to State College and that something could be a number of things.
Tom.
I left with the idea that this relationship was over. There was never really anything wrong with us, but to me it wasn't quite right. All this boy ever did was try to please me, and I turned down every attempt because I already had made up my mind that it wasn't good enough. Since leaving State College we ended up talking more than when we actually lived together. I took some time out for myself to really figure out what I wanted, and it only led me back to him. Cliche I know, but you don't know what you have til you don't have it anymore. I know a lot of people don't believe in second chances, but I'm going into this again with an open mind and a better attitude. A relationship takes some work, and it's my own fault for not realizing what was right in front of me. I'm very excited to see him and give this relationship a go again. Tom's the greatest, most supportive guy I've ever been with, and that's a good thing.
Pets.
Working at a pet store, while my pets are 175 miles away isn't very comforting. I miss them every day. I've been staying at friends' houses that have critters, but they're not my babies and so sometimes it makes it worse.
Home.
You know when you go away on a vacation and even though you could be having the time of your life, there still is no greater feeling than coming home and getting to sleep in your own bed? That's how I feel. I'm missing a level of comfort. I miss my kitchen. I've been eating fast food for the past twoish weeks. It's disgusting. I just want to make lemon bars and homemade salsa
Bicycles.
I thought in coming to Allentown that I may have a chance to ride around a little. I have yet to acquire a bicycle but I've been able to ride Meghan's bike around a bit. IT SUCKS. Riding is fun, but boy do I miss my bike. I miss suspension and grip shifts make me sad. The Coal Cracker Classic is a month away and I'm hoping that in my return to State College I can get a bike and ride again. I also miss my Jane ladies like crazy, so it'll feel good to be a part of the bike world again.
A Second Chance.
I have to admit that maybe I wasn't quite ready to leave Allentown the first time I left. When we moved to State College I still had so many attachments. I've spent the last month and a good part of the summer catching up with friends, seeing old sights, and most importantly I've learned what I want right now out of my life as far as jobs and relationships go. It's about who I want to be, and I think now that I'm ready. I can begin. I'm leaving on Wednesday, and I can't wait to start again - maybe try things differently. I may have fallen a couple times, but I think I'm ready to get back on.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)