Getting Back On

There's an unwritten rule in the blogging world that it's not ok to reveal everything that goes on in your personal life. You want to intrigue your readers without sharing every detail of life's drama. I recently read an account from another blogger that summed it up perfectly. On one hand you have a blogger who basically shared their complete mid-life meltdown online and it cost them a lot of their readers. On the other hand you have the blogger that hides behind that computer screen telling themselves that everything is perfect because they say it is. Well dear friends, I don't want to be that person who tries to be squeaky shiny clean on the outside while I'm falling apart on the inside. I will admit a lot has gone on in my life lately, but if anything I think I had to go on a rough and strenuous journey to return to what I will find to be a rewarding and just path. Here goes.

Ive been in Allentown now for a month. I've been working successfully - loving my job and coworkers. I've been seeing friends here and there. My only downside is a lack of housing. There is no place here to call my own. I have been staying at friends' places, to which I am very appreciative. However something has been calling me back to State College and that something could be a number of things.

Tom.
I left with the idea that this relationship was over.  There was never really anything wrong with us, but to me it wasn't quite right. All this boy ever did was try to please me, and I turned down every attempt because I already had made up my mind that it wasn't good enough. Since leaving State College we ended up talking more than when we actually lived together. I took some time out for myself to really figure out what I wanted, and it only led me back to him. Cliche I know, but you don't know what you have til you don't have it anymore. I know a lot of people don't believe in second chances, but I'm going into this again with an open mind and a better attitude. A relationship takes some work, and it's my own fault for not realizing what was right in front of me. I'm very excited to see him and give this relationship a go again. Tom's the greatest, most supportive guy I've ever been with, and that's a good thing.

Pets.
Working at a pet store, while my pets are 175 miles away isn't very comforting. I miss them every day. I've been staying at friends' houses that have critters, but they're not my babies and so sometimes it makes it worse.

Home.
You know when you go away on a vacation and even though you could be having the time of your life, there still is no greater feeling than coming home and getting to sleep in your own bed? That's how I feel. I'm missing a level of comfort. I miss my kitchen. I've been eating fast food for the past twoish weeks. It's disgusting. I just want to make lemon bars and homemade salsa

Bicycles.
I thought in coming to Allentown that I may have a chance to ride around a little. I have yet to acquire a bicycle but I've been able to ride Meghan's bike around a bit. IT SUCKS. Riding is fun, but boy do I miss my bike. I miss suspension and grip shifts make me sad. The Coal Cracker Classic is a month away and I'm hoping that in my return to State College I can get a bike and ride again. I also miss my Jane ladies like crazy, so it'll feel good to be a part of the bike world again.

A Second Chance.
I have to admit that maybe I wasn't quite ready to leave Allentown the first time I left. When we moved to State College I still had so many attachments. I've spent the last month and a good part of the summer catching up with friends, seeing old sights, and most importantly I've learned what I want right now out of my life as far as jobs and relationships go. It's about who I want to be, and I think now that I'm ready. I can begin. I'm leaving on Wednesday, and I can't wait to start again - maybe try things differently. I may have fallen a couple times, but I think I'm ready to get back on.

Gardening: Another Beginning

I've been making good progress lately. The weather has been nice and I've made sure to get out just about every day. My trips are somewhat small, usually not with fitness as my only goal. 

 like that time I rode to wegman's to buy all the chocolate croissants they have.  oh like everyday.

I love summer because my eating habits completely change(besides still consuming lots of chocolate croissants). Gardening is one of my favorite things. I never really understood why some people gripe about it, because I think once you start a garden right, it doesn't need tooooo much upkeep. I will blog about my gardening progress because I feel it coincides with the healthy upbeat lifestyle associated with cycling.

 This is my BAG O' BARK

Lately I've taken a couple trips to the nearby park/woods to gather bark to use as drainage for my sandbox transformed garden. 

I collect buckets

I rent a townhouse, so I don't have much space to garden. I tried to gather buckets from dumpsters rather than spending money on planters. This is the set up for 2011. Some things I've learned from previous gardens(as last year I lived in center-city Allentown)  is to maximize the vertical space. Grow up. Plant vegetables that I know I will eat. Water and proper drainage are key. I've faced some issues with the sandbox outside. First, we weren't sure whether it was ours to use. Luckily the neighbors said that they didn't use it so we could. Unfortunately it had a solid bottom so I drilled holes in it, took out most of the sand, and covered the bottom layer in bark.

mmm sand...

One of my friends who works at Lowe's (yeah that's right I have connections on the inside) is getting me some soil/dirt to fill in the sandbox, then it's planting time.

Here's what I have so far

And also some potatoes

And along with that every year I have either mystery seeds or plants that come up. Mystery plants tend to be my favorite for the very reason that they are a mystery. One year it was a squash.

These are this year's mystery plants. One is a pepper for sure.

I also have some seedlings started in an egg carton, and about 6 of them are sprouted. We'll see where this goes. I can't wait to make some awesome salads and salsa.

More bike-related entries coming soon =) I'm going to go eat another chocolate croissant.

Change of Mind, Heart, and Gears.

When I moved to State College, I told myself that I was going to use my bike more than ever. I originally planned this when I thought I'd be living closer to downtown. I live about 4 miles north, which isn't too far away, but far enough that I have to go up and down a couple hills to get where ever I'm going. Hills are the enemy. I don't think I've mentioned how incredibly out of shape I am, and couldn't really tell you when I was last "in shape."

I did have some pretty sick abs when I was 9.

You could say that fitness was an objective - shape up, be healthy, feel better about myself. I also considered that biking would save me some money. I wouldn't use my car as much and I would spend less on gas and maintenance. I'm also a tree hugger so somewhere in there I'd be helping the environment. I think just about every person that starts to ride a bicycle has these same goals in mind.

Another goal, as previously mentioned, was to get closer to Tom, and make new friends. I still saw the bike community as an intimidating group though. Especially because the people we tend to hang out with aren't just bike riders for enjoyment, they also build, repair, race and design. They know what they're doing. I get lost listening to them converse. I won't even try to keep up with that. I knew there must be other people out there that were riding just to have some fun(not that the above group wasn't, just that they came off as a little too intense) but I wasn't quite sure how I'd meet them.

I'm not the greatest at making new friends.

 Last week I came across a listing on Craigslist looking for women who would be paid to be on a street team for a bicycle club for Blue White Weekend. We were to pair up with a buddy and meet for information that Thursday at Panera if interested. I checked out their website and they seemed pretty cool. Just a nice little group looking to get out and bike, get in shape, eat healthy and be healthy, and have some fun along the way. I am also desperate for money since leaving my last job, so I thought that this could be good. I sent Rachael the link and pretty much forgot about it, after realizing my other job interfered with the time that they would need me. Thursday rolled around, and Rachael texted me asking if I would be going to the meeting that night. I thought what the hell, it had been a while since I had a Panera tuna salad sandwich. I also thought it would be a good idea to see what this group was all about.

I got home from work about 5:30 and the meeting was at 7. I told Rachael that I would ride my bike to her house and we would ride up together. I know this town by car, for sure, bike is a different story though. There are many bike paths that I'm not quite sure where they lead, so I had a pretty roundabout way that I had planned to get downtown. Not even a mile from my house I noticed that my tires were low on air. I started to question whether I should continue, whether I would make it on time, and how easy it would be to just drive my car downtown.

I forced myself to continue, thinking that even if I missed the meeting I would still be able to say I biked a bit and got to know the area a little better. I made it with 15 minutes to spare and I felt really really good. The meeting went well, and I got to know about See Jane Ride. The more that I learned the more I simply thought that joining this group was a no-brainer. I would be able to ride more, see more things, and MAKE FRIENDS! The woman who led the meeting, Dana, explained that the group is for woman of all skill levels, no pressure atmosphere and go at your own pace. This was so appealing to me, especially because it was opposite of my previous feelings of the skilled bikies I hang around with.

You mean I don't have to feel like I'm anchoring everyone?

After the meeting we rode back to Rachael's and I let my adrenaline high take control of my thoughts.

YES I WILL JOIN THIS BIKE CLUB!
SEE JANE RIDE IS AWESOME!
I WILL BE AMAZING!
I WILL MAKE FRIENDS!
I WILL GET IN SHAPE!
I WILL LOVE MY LIFE!

and somewhere in there I thought, if I really am this serious about it, and I stick with it, maybe I should have a landmark goal in mind so that when I reach it I will feel as though I've really succeeded. That thought was followed by;

I WILL COMPETE IN THE COAL CRACKER CLASSIC IN SEPTEMBER!
and I'LL START A BLOG TO DOCUMENT MY PROGRESS!
to the point where I jokingly said to my boyfriend, I'M GOING TO BE INTERNET FAMOUS!

uuuuhhh yeah.

The culmination of it all. The conception and birth of this idea, this blog. And believe me, I'm very very excited. Now all I have to do is wait for amiable weather conditions and we'll get down to business.

SERIOUS business.

BE the Bicycle

My biggest obstacle I face is wanting to tell every story all at one moment. Please bare with me kind readers. I need to ration my entries =)

When the warmer weather of 2010 rolled around I started to accustom myself to the idea of my new bike. I knew that I wanted to spend more time with my boy, get in shape, and see new sights in a different way. We walked our roommates dog, Rascal, around the neighborhood, and in doing so discovered a nice little park nearby with a bike path. The path was pretty tame, except one part where you had the option of fording a river. Clearly this was awesome. I got out to ride a couple times, fell in the river twice, but felt sad without Rascal. My outdoor ventures remained walking the dog, and barely riding my new bike.

 This is Rascal, upset that I was attempting to ride my bike,

instead of taking him for walks.

I faced riding my new bike with optimism. While I faced many obstacles - my bike was too big for me, I didn't have a helmet yet, the seat hurts my hoohah, the area I lived in was also bicycle-challenged  - I was determined to overcome them. I coped with this as I tend to do with all things, by making it mine. Personalization is something I do as a roundabout way to possession. By declaring something mine I can take ownership of the situation.

I think back to acting classes in high school. "BE the bicycle Megan, BE THE BICYCLE."

an example... When I was a teenager I had a guitar. Decorated to say, "this is my guitar." Could I play guitar? NO. 

Complete with butterfly transfer decals and glow in the dark frets. 

All I could play was the Meow Mix theme song and the 007 song. 

And how might this guitar relate to my new bike? Well.... I did the same thing to it. Thought dressing it up nice would make it more for me.

Green was a lovely accent color, so I got some pretty star handle grips, a mint green light(for night riding) and a green bottle holder.

Conveniently the water bottles at FreezeThaw (my friends' shop) are also green.

Luckily I had some sweet gloves lying around, from when I was a cage fighter. 

I also found my name license plate from when I was a kid, and crashed my sweet red huffy.

I delayed buying a helmet. I attempted to get one when I bought all this other awesome stuff but couldn't afford the ones at the shop. I knew the world of biking was going to be expensive. I didn't even know what I was looking for in a helmet. If we have to get personal here, and we will, I think I didn't buy a helmet because I was scared.

I figured that as long as I didn't have a helmet yet, I couldn't do anything of a higher risk level. Probably the same reason why I won't go snowboarding without health insurance. It became my excuse for everything. I stuck to riding on the road, which was equally scary (grr traffic). As much as I wanted to venture into the woods, I told myself I wasn't allowed to without protection. Finally, when I thought I was ready for bigger and better things, I bought a helmet.

I think I've worn it once.

The Beginning of the Beginning

When I think of where to start I wonder how much is necessary to divulge. One must understand all my motivators in suddenly deciding to take on Rothrock State Forest and eventually the Mid-Atlantic Super Series. I simply can not use the excuse "I don't own a helmet" anymore. So the beginning of beginnings starts with my motivations, my intentions, my progress, and finally my results. Follow them, won't you?

It always starts with a boy, at least for me, it does. The boy I am with is a mountain biking phenomena. He's been hitting trails with the big kids since he was a youngin, raced competitively all over the mid-atlantic in his teens, and remembered him mentioning something about a sponsorship somewhere in there. He recently got back into racing last summer, when a old race route near his home town resurrected. Enter the Coal Cracker Classic.

 
He came in 2nd place, single speed expert class. It was at this moment that I knew that my guy was a hot shot. Hadn't been in a competition in 7 years and just shows up and womps into 2nd place.

 Here I am, trying to enter his great big world of biking, just to get closer, have more to do together. Now don't get me wrong, I consider myself an expert class ADVENTURER. Just not that accustomed to bikes.

Now without getting too far ahead of myself, I must tell you about christmas(or as we tend to celebrate, the winter solstice, but whatever.. I'll just say christmas).  I had previously dropped hints about wanting a bike, but never saying that I wanted him to get one for me. I always figured that I'd stumble across some old beater at a yard sale for 20 bucks. I'd take it home and fix it up, and have a happy little bike to call my own. Something like this...

My friend sam found this baby in a dumpster. Throw a basket on that sucker and that's what I'm talking about.

Well Tom(my boy), gave me some present hints. It was impossible to store at our house, so he had it kept at his mom's. He mentioned that he couldn't keep it at our place because it wasn't something he could hide. He'd probably have to get it a day or two before christmas. Here I am, the whole time thinking, he must have finally adopted a kitten for me just like I've always wanted. I came home from work that day to find this

 That would be a Jamis Allegro 1x Hybrid or my new kitten. Whatever. I remember being utterly disappointed. Thanks hun. I tried to hide my sadness. What am I supposed to do with a bicycle in the middle of winter? Why isn't this a kitten? Can I snuggle with my new bicycle? I was perplexed. I tried to tell myself it would be ok. I was like an animal approaching a foreign object. I smelled it, cautiously. "It's too big for me." I started crying. I think I ruined the boy's gift giving courage for any future holiday. He adjusted the seat. "It's too big for me." He adjusted the handlebars. "It's too big for me." He insisted we could get a different bike, but that is the very bike that I now proudly own, and ride awkwardly.

I think my real fear lay in facing that I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up with Tom. Regardless of how many times he kept telling me he enjoyed my company, even if I did have to stop and walk at every incline, I still felt defeated. Like I could never be on his level, or even on an intermediate level. I am a loser with a sweet bike, and I'll pretend I know what I'm doing with it. As time went by, I tried to accustom myself with my new ride. When summer came we went on some bike paths I could handle, but I really wanted to try the woods and forest trails. This was a far away thought as I still have yet to set tire into a forest.

Next time I'll tell you about my rivalry with traffic, my moving to State College, and surviving winter. After all that background info is established - The real GOAL and how I get there! Joining See Jane Ride and getting to the 2011 Coal Cracker Classic!