The Things That Hold Us Back

It's amazing what we, as people, will come up with as an excuse. I'm not even talking about the excuses we tell our peers, colleagues or employers, but the ones that we tell ourselves. When taking on new things in life we will of course face many obstacles, some mental and some physical. I would easily define myself as a "do-er." So when I find myself coming up with excuses, I try to find out why I am doing it, and how I can attain the goal at hand.

I've gone out biking a couple times recently, now that the weather in State College is starting to feel like Spring. Or it just skipped Spring altogether and suddenly it's late-July humid out with 80 degree temperatures and thunderstorms, but I'll take whatever comes my way.  Both trials were about an hour in time to Circleville Park nearby my house. Circleville Park provides a nice long macadam path to ride on, or paths that go into Patton Forest that are really easy starter paths; no rocks, no switchbacks and only 1 or 2 fallen trees. Although I'd consider my trips short, I have learned a couple things, that I must overcome.

Clearance and Proximity
I'm that person on the roller coaster that keeps my hands up until the car goes under a tunnel or overhead beam. I know, in my head, that engineers spent a lot of time making sure that there is plenty of clearance for people to raise their arms while coaster cars whiz into tunnels at 65 miles an hour. But there's something in me that just can't keep those arms up. Applying that to mountain biking, I'm deathly afraid that I will just ride right into a tree, ala george of the jungle, because of misjudging how much space I have on a particular path. I enjoy Circleville because of this. I'm not really trying to tackle any crazy obstacles yet, but learn paths, and space, and passing courtesy because I know I will get passed.

 Those are trees. They might want to hurt me?

The Opinions of Others
My first trip out to the woods was very very exciting for me. I was on my own, and I enjoy being by myself because ever since I was a toddler, my mother can attest, that I would never want help. EVER. "I can do it myself" I would exclaim and feel that the reward was even greater because I figured things out on my own. Granted as a twentysomething now I know when to ask for help, but the idea of reward still stands true and feels really good when you do something on your own. On my second trip Tom went with me. I felt miserable. Maybe it was the mood I was in that day, but I felt the pressure. I felt like he would judge me, and that I was probably doing everything wrong. Funny thing is - he's not a judgmental person. If anything he wants to help me and encourages my little biking endeavor. Sometimes I think that it's not biking I'm afraid of, but my boyfriend. I'm fine when I bike with Rachael, or with my friend Erik back in Allentown. Put me with Tom though and I feel like a dork. This may be because I tend to put him up on a pedestal. Oddly enough I don't have a solution yet for this one. I'm kind of stumped. at least I know that it is something I need to work on. I need to focus on enjoying myself and not worrying about others opinions. I also think that biking with people of my skill level will help with this.

At least I'm wearing my helmet.

My Bike. Past and Present.
In an earlier entry I mentioned how my bike is too large for little old me. When I had turned the size of my bike into a big enough issue Tom resolved that we should get a new one for me. From there I wasn't sure what to do next. What size is right for me? Where should I get a bike from? Should I buy one that's put together already? Would he want to build me a custom one? What do I know about this stuff? All  know is that I want it to be comfortable and look pretty. I looked for a little last Autumn, but felt like I shouldn't be unhappy with a gift, and that I could make my bike work. Shortly after starting this blog, Tom approached me with "If you're really serious about this biking thing we CAN get you a new bike." We've made the decision to sell the old one, and now I want this - which I won't get quite yet, but can't wait.

 That is a Women's Trek Skye S in LAVA BLACK. 

I'd put all my green accessories on it, of course.

Timing and Priorities
When I moved to State College I started the year off with 3 part-time jobs and the sad grim hours of winter. Now the days are longer, I only have 2 part-time jobs that I barely work at, and am searching for employment. If I had all the time in the day I would love to bike ride more. Unfortunately, the beginning of May is traditionally when I start gardening all my summer veggies, so I'm trying to prep the planters and garden now. I hate to feel like I'm racing the daylight, and my other daytime activities include; playing with the dog, taking him to the dog park or for walks, trying desperately to spend quality time with the boyfriend before he leaves for work,  grocery shopping, doing dishes, and wasting way too much time on the internet-although this can always wait til the sun goes down. Tom just recently got into a work out routine of strength training/weights alternating every day with bike rides. He always picks places that I want to go, but then tells me he doesn't think I'm "ready" for them. Well, I'll show you! Sometimes I get too discouraged to go bike riding. Where's my motivation? Besides, I like riding by myself anyway. Again, I need to just get out and have some fun. I might end up getting a full-time job soon and then who knows how much free time I'll have. What if this happened?

RIDE BIKES EVERY DAY!!!

The Support of Friends and Family
Now someone might be confused and wonder why I consider this an obstacle, or "opportunity for growth." My friends and family tend to not understand why I'm suddenly doing this. Ever get really excited about something and then go try to explain it to someone who has never heard of what you're talking about? They usually don't get equally excited, and that is the situation I'm facing at the moment. Friends have been supportive for the most part, but like to crack hipster jokes at me and other "supportive" things. My mother asked me "Do I wear a helmet?" which I thought, "Is she really asking me this?" and then said "well at least you're not one of those CRAZY bikers." To which I asked her to explain but she changed the subject. I want to say she was referring to bmx.

My mom thinks I do this. HAHA I would do that. 

Just to get a reaction from my MOM.

What frustrates me most is that I have all these hang-ups. Why can't I just get out there and ride? I can't wait til the See Jane Ride rides start. Looking forward to being around a lighthearted group. I think in time, with more and more rides, I will be able to let go and have more fun. Because if I wasn't having fun, I'm not sure why I'd be doing this.